Guest Post – Debbie Rossi
Today on the blog we have a Guest Post from Debbie Rossi, from Total Being Kinesiology, talking to us about how bullying in school can effect us in our adult lives and when we become mothers. She Shares her new book Beyond the school Yard, as a practical guide to overcoming those challenging and being about to parent freely. I hope you enjoy.
Yes I was bullied as a teenager.
Yes I carried the emotional scars of this into my adulthood.
Yes my self-talk resembled low confidence and little self-belief in everything I did, which was a result of this bullying.
BUT I never thought that taking my children to school would make me feel like I was back in high school all over again. The anxiety I felt was overwhelming and very unexpected.
I was reliving it again, except I was a not teenager anymore. I was a grown adult with my children who were looking at me for guidance. How could I teach and show my children not to be anxious about going to school when it clearly made me feel like I wanted to run and hide?
As a result my first daughter did suffer anxieties and was very clingy when going to school. She was often very teary at drop offs and would constantly look for other friends she could attach herself to after I left, almost like a security blanket. At the time I could not (or did not want to) see that I was contributing to her feeling safe and happy at school. How could I show her this, when my schooling had felt nothing but safe and happy for me?
I was at breaking point. My feelings of low self-worth and insecurities were raging and I was been pushed everyday to my emotional limits with my daughter’s feelings and reactions about going to school.
Does this sound familiar? Is this YOU?
From a person who has come out the other side of this turmoil, the most important advice I can give to you is to breathe and understand that you are not alone. Did you know that the majority of Mums experience anxieties when their children start school – their own anxieties not their children’s anxieties? The majority of people around you will also be worried if they will fit in, if the other Mums will like them, if their child will be liked, if they have something to talk about to the other Mums and the list goes on and on.
You will be surprised how many other Mums in the schoolyard feel exactly the same way that you do.
Sometimes by just understanding that we are okay and that others around us are also experiencing the same or similar issues, it helps us to calm ourselves and move away from all the drama and stories in our head. We are not alone!
The next important step is to start to look at the reasons why you are experiencing these issues and thoughts. Like I needed to. I could not gloss over the emotions any longer as my children were being affected by my insecurities and the resulting emotional out bursts I would have.
I did this through looking within me to and letting of the outside causes and reactions of what was going on. It was my thoughts that tainted the reality of the situation anyway, so I needed to address my thoughts before I could start to address what was happening around me.
Through the use of kinesiology I have been able to address the underlying emotional reasons of what is going on in my life. I am a kinesiologist and I am very privileged to be able to help many others Mums take control of their emotions and live a life that is happier and calmer. Kinesiology allows me to access your subconscious mind to acknowledge and understand why you feel what you feel and how you can empower yourself to feel better from the inside out.
My book Beyond The Schoolyard is my personal journey of how I overcame my bullying past to move forward and away from the bullying and become a confident and self-assured person.
Through my personal journey, I have become the role-model that I want my children to model. You can do it too.
As a thank-you for reading my article I would like to offer you the first chapter of my book called ‘Changing Thoughts’. This is your first stepping-stone to overcome your bullying past. Please visit my webpage www.debbierossi.com.au or email me directly